Spiritual Hungers: What We’re Really Longing For

Spirituality is our vital life force, the way that our inner spirit connects with the sacred or transcendent. Many people refer to that sacred or transcendent source as God, and religion is one way that people seek to understand and relate to the sacred, but it is certainly not the only way. We might find the sacred in the splendor of the natural world, or the shared energy of our common humanity. We might experience transcendence through the creative force inside us, or love for one another. There are as many expressions of spirituality as there are people to experience them.

Spirituality is universal – since we are all born with spirits, we all have spiritual needs. We seek a purpose, and a sense that our lives have meaning. We long for belonging and connection. We want to experience hope, joy, and peace. We long to be unconditionally loved and accepted. We need a sense of identity that feels authentic, and a sense of agency or control over aspects of our lives.

Unfortunately, as Michelle Lelwica argues in her book The Religion of Thinness, we aren’t always good at recognizing and honoring these needs. They aren’t something we talk a lot about, as a culture. If we aren’t part of a religion, we may lack a framework for understanding spiritual needs, or even dismiss them as irrelevant. If we are part of a religion, we may have too rigid a framework, focusing on what our needs “should” be rather than on what they really are. Either way, neglecting our true spiritual needs may leave us feeling hollow, disconnected, and anxious about fixing and controlling all the things that feel precarious in our lives. In the absence of life-giving ways of satisfying our spiritual needs and longings, we may turn to an eating disorder to fill the void: it offers us an identity and purpose, and promises worth, meaning, acceptance, control, and peace.

However, an eating disorder never keeps its promise to fulfill our deepest yearnings. At best, it disguises and distracts us from our authentic spiritual needs. At worst, it alienates us from our true selves, and from the life-force in and around us. Either way, it “shortchanges our hungry spirits, ultimately deepening the emptiness it promises to fill” (Lelwica, 2010, p. 42). Spirituality offers an antidote: not only a path to healing, but ultimately, to fulfillment.

Spirituality reconnects us with our authentic selves. It provides a lasting sense of inherent worth, and frees us to connect with rather than compete with others. It allows us to feel like we belong and are at home in the world, and in our bodies. It fosters a sense of meaning and purpose, and directs our energies in creative rather than destructive ways. Where things are in our power, it gives us the strength to exercise healthy control in ways consistent with our values. Where things are not in our power, it gives us faith and trust to accept, and let go of our efforts to control. It lends us courage and strength when we are struggling, and gives us a means of expressing joy and gratitude when all is well. Spirituality is nothing less than the language of the heart, that nexus where body, mind and soul are joined.

Actively practicing spirituality strengthens us to do that hard work that recovery entails, and helps us focus on the reasons it’s worth it. It becomes a source of comfort and sustenance along the way, and brings us into fuller contact with life, in all its messy, vulnerable, sometimes painful, but beautiful richness.

Lotus Blossom